In the midst of Chaos

Back to school - back to stress!! Wow, the last couple of weeks have been the craziest I've experienced in awhile. An intense lack of sleep on the weekend (read chasing 5 kids, enjoying the SUN, and tubing like a maniac - with the biggest bruises I've ever had in my life to prove it...). Tuesday - I was late for class, the instructor proceeded to grill me for answers for the rest of class - picture me tired, clutching my coffee like my life depends on it, and trying to be as pleasant as possible even though I want to scream/cry/swear and take a nap on my desk... Enter Wednesday - I'm on time, but as I'm driving down the street I hear a "clunk". I decide to ignore it and keep driving - that is until Mom says "did you hear that?" ...crap... Then I realize - it's my juice that I placed on the top of my roof while throwing my textbooks in the back seat - I look in my rearview just in time to see the truck behind me drive over it... UGH! I really wanted that juice!!! I'm not gonna lie - I cried - it was only 8am and it was already that kind of a day... You wanna know what makes lost juice seem like no biggie?? Ok, I'll tell you - it's 11am. My second class is starting. Our Regional Manager walks into the classroom with a cup of coffee. Profanities race through my head - she never comes to class with good news - either we're in trouble or something serious has happened... oh boy. The good news? We weren't in trouble - we hadn't done anything that required reprimanding (ie/ parking in the teachers parking, smoking with the door open so we won't freeze, running down the halls, leaving nasty notes on windshields of the students who park like idiots... - and yes, we've been reprimanded for all of these things in the past...). Anyways - the bad news. Our instructor - who is currently standing in front of us beside her - has RESIGNED effective IMMEDIATELY!!!! what the?... I have never heard 20 students sit in stunned silence the way we did. You could have heard a pin drop. Terror, shock, disbelief... Yup, did I mention she teaches 2 of our courses? That's right - a third of my courses - suspended until we can figure out what the H to do. Things are still up in the air, but they're starting to fall, and fortunately they're starting to fall INTO PLACE. At least that's what we're believing...

Thursday brought more of the same - the beginning of Entrepreneurship Practicum - holy toledo, 2 weeks in and I'm scared already. I'm a manager, but I'm not an idea person. I'm exhausted, stressed, and doing what I do best - shooting down ideas... ha! How do you do that under the circumstances without coming off as a total witch?? I'll let you know when I figure it out - not going great so far. My instructor actually asked me on Thursday if I was ok because with the looks I was giving - and I quote - my "eyes could kill". Great. Gotta love being misunderstood... Oh well - one of these days when I break down in tears they'll realize I'm not angry - just overwhelmed, tired, in desperate need of coffee and feeling helpless =) haha...
Fingers crossed everything will chill out next week and we can get down to business!!

All that said - today I saw a picture of resilience and triumph in the most unlikeliest of places. After the week I've put in I'm starting to feel like nothing is going right and everything is against me (did I mention I'm fighting anemia right now too??). Well, you start to feel like you'll never get your head above water and you wonder how you're going to achieve anything or even get out of bed tomorrow. This morning we were out in the garden picking tomatoes and when we came in, I noticed a volunteer tomato plant - in the dog run! Our little gravel pit at the back door, chain-link fenced in so we can let the dog out and not have to accompany him. There, in the middle of the gravel is a tomato plant. Growing strong, fighting the odds. We're not sure if someone tossed a tomato into the run, or if Shaddy made a "deposit" or if it was the birds that put it there. Regardless, there it is, growing in the gravel, acidic soil, standing tall and low and behold - BEARING FRUIT! One small cherry tomato on it's outstretched branch, like a pearl in an outstretched hand (it's got far more than one now!). It spoke to me SO deeply it almost reduced me to tears. I have been complaining for 4 days straight about all the knocks against me this week, and there under the most impossible of conditions was this tomato plant - defying the odds, staring adversity in the face, standing tall, and bearing it's achievement with pride. I guess if this little tomato plant can survive and THRIVE under it's startlingly unfavorable conditions (not to mention all this RAIN!), I can stand tall and face the onslaught of adversity that I'm facing and come out on top too. I just need to remember who I am, and what I'm here for. Although I DO hope that this next week doesn't throw QUITE so many curve balls as last week did!!!! My catchers mitt has had enough of a workout for awhile! =)